Traffic

 

What’s a DC blog without a post about traffic?

It would be easy to fill an hour with stories about bad drivers – but I cannot in good conscience write that post.

 Traffic in a big city is just wretched; I’m not even talking about rush hour, I’m talking about the multiple lanes and the high speeds and the concrete barriers.  Spill a lot of cars into this environment, and really it’s surprising how often we walk away unscathed.  One reason why there aren’t more accidents is because there are drivers who do pay attention.  This allows a little room for stupidity, momentary distraction, and bad circumstances – without every incident ending in bent fenders and blood.

So rather than focusing on all the idiot drivers on the roads these days, I’d like to consider the drivers who are reasonably skilled and alert. 

I’m new here.  I’m trying to pay attention, but sometimes there are just so many decisions to be made so quickly, and something gives: I change lanes and cut off a fast-approaching SUV, or I don’t maintain the right speed for a smooth merge onto 495, or I take that exit off 66 too quickly and accidentally run the yield sign at Nutley Street. 

Fortunately for me, in each of the aforementioned scenarios, the attentiveness of another driver made up for my errors.  The SUV hit the brakes and did not rear-end me.  The sport car changed lanes to leave me room to merge.  The black sedan swerved.  Goodness only knows how many times I have screwed up, narrowly avoided disaster, and walked away without even realizing I’ve had a close call.

So maybe in future I will write a post about crazy motorists, but this is my shout-out to all the good drivers in DC:  I will never get to tell you in person, but thank you for saving my life. 

You are basically Batman.

 

Living Dangerously

I want to be dangerous.

Among the many appealing traits of a larger-than-life hero (Sherlock Holmes, Batman, Aslan) is the visceral satisfaction you get when the villain sees just who he’s up against and blanches.  Am I the only one who finds this moment peculiarly delightful? 

Sauron is poised to take over Middle Earth, when Aragorn whips out the Palantir and reveals himself  – and what does Sauron do?  He freaks out.  The biggest bad in Middle Earth since Morgoth, and he panics, sends out the troops, and completely overlooks the short people trekking up his volcano.  Nice.

Over and over the Doctor arrives, and after sinking into trouble up to his neck, he sighs and makes introductions:  Guess who you’ve poked with a stick, you idiots: me!  The lanky, leather jacket/bow-tie/fez-wearing Oncoming Storm himself.  Mass flailing of robots and aliens!  So cool.

After nine seasons of tragedy, misery, and kicking butt, what has Jack Bauer successfully earned, besides a retirement he’ll never get?  A nigh-on limitless supply of these moments – just one blenching terrorist after another.  It never gets old.

This brings us to Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother.  She was wife of George VI, mother to the current Queen Elizabeth, and came to the throne not long before the bombs started dropping on London.  Not a great time to be Queen, I would imagine.  But she smiled and stayed calm and was tough.  When she was asked if she’d be sending her daughters to the country for safety, she said, "The girls will not leave unless I do. I will not leave unless the King does. And the King will not leave under any circumstances whatsoever."  All the ordinary, stolid, wartime British people loved her.  She was a morale boost, just by existing.  She made you want to cling on by your fingernails and keep fighting.

Adolph Hitler called her “the most dangerous woman in Europe.” 

You can spot the hero by how much trouble they’re giving the villain.

So that’s what I’m aiming to do.

Today I begin my campaign to harass the Enemy.  He’s a master of physical and psychological warfare, but I have better resources: my Commanding Officer sorted him once, and He’ll do it again.  Until He gets back, though, it’s guerrilla warfare for me.  The good that my Enemy would prefer to be left undone I will make my primary goal.  Those people currently undergoing his worst attacks will get my full support and friendship.  He will not have it all his way, if I can help it.

I want to be dangerous.

Who’s with me?