What doesn't kill you…

…can still make a real mess out of your room.  Picture it, not at all Pinteresque or clean.  Every surface is covered with bits of wardrobe, casualties of my manic quest to piece together a faintly professional outfit.  We're not even talking interview material ― just 'presentable'.  Interview will be a whole different post.

I had a meeting a few weeks back with a helpful gentleman who looked over my résumé and offered some job hunting advice.  This was lovely of him.  And it is not his fault that I came away feeling bewildered, because that is where I live these days.  Among other questions, he asked, "If you cannot get any editing work or writing work or administrative work, what kind of job would you want instead?" and honestly, I don't know.  Banking?  Web Design?  Underwater Welding?

I imagine there are lots of jobs I am qualified to do (or, let's be honest, qualified to learn how to do), but it's hard to find them.  I spend hours searching, until I feel like I've clicked every link and visited every job site and Googled every keyword. 

 

This is it, I think blearily, I've reached the End of the Internet.

 

I struggle to find my footing here.  Few editing jobs call for less than four years experience, but I need work to get experience.  Someone told me that I should have more confidence in the way I present myself, but he didn't mean a general confidence in my ability to do a good job and figure things out.  Rather, this is supposed to be the sort of confidence that allows you to say, with emphasis, "These are the things I do, these are the good results I have produced, and this is the kind of job I want (complete with appropriate job title, i.e. Assistant Manager of Bowling Ball Juggling)."  But specifics also come from experience. 

I have been told to be careful "not to get myself locked into a bad cycle" and to "aim for jobs that will contribute to your long-term goals" and that "it's all about who you know: networking is key." 

Networking.  Cue the introverted paralysis.  I have extroversion in me, but put me in a room full of professional people and tell me to "go forth and network!", and my inner recluse will peer through the peephole and sadly inform you that Sarah is unavailable for duty, on account of being dead.

But I know that even when the internet ends, the people still have ideas.  So out the door I go.  I dress respectably (hence the wardrobe carnage) and attend a networking lunch.  I introduce myself and make conversation.  Don't get me wrong, it's not all paper cuts soaked in lemon juice.  For it to be all bad, the people would have to be all bad, and they're not.  Still, there is a lurking thought that the point of being here is to make contacts, which leaves me clammy and nervous and unlike myself.  It also skews the expectations.  Networking-on-purpose feels like a constant, unfocussed interview because each person wants to hear my elevator pitch.

Referring back, it's difficult to have an elevator pitch if you don't know exactly what job you're hoping for.  I attempt a pitch anyway.  I try to be confident, but stop short of lying; to be polished, but conversational ― and it's not impressive.  I finish my best effort…....

Man I am Talking To: "One thing you might consider doing is composing a short description of the work you've done and the kind of job you want; have you ever heard of an elevator pitch?"
 

Oh dear.  Wasn't that what I just gave you?  Apparently not.  Okay, okay, Sarah, no time for self-recrimination ― time to roll with it.

Me: (ruefully) "Yes, I have!  It would seem I … don't have one."

Him: (agreeing seriously)  "No, you don't."

Rimshot.  Fair enough.

 

 

Fortunately, as I'm about to leave in disgrace, my networking reputation is salvaged:

A man, who is older than my father, asks me out.  On a date.

 

I am no closer to having a job,

but it would seem the outfit is a winner. 

Or something.

Score.

What is the take-home lesson here?  Surely there is something redeeming to pull out of the awkward!  I need a moral, and I need it now before this blog post gets too long.
 

How about:

Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. 

There's more than one way to skin a cat. 

Prayer is always a good idea. 

A life lived in fear is a life half-lived. 

Platitudes are trying to the soul. 

And hopefully, what doesn't kill you…

…makes you stronger.